What does “Mental Health” mean to you?

Forward: I started writing this last night, and just needed to finish up in the morning. While the perfect opportunity arose, an emotional encounter left me in a frame of mind not fit for writing. Or doing anything really. It was ridiculously ironic (& annoying) considering the subject of my post. For the rest of the day everything seemed to send me the same message: No one cares what I have to say. I am not important. My opinion doesn’t matter. So in honour of Mental Health Week, I’m going to rebel against those voices, and continue my post. Even if you don’t care what I have to say… 😉

I’m sure by now you would have seen something or someone mentioning that this week is mental health week. (13th-19th May). So, of course, I thought I’d take the opportunity to share my thoughts on the subject.

What is mental health? To me, it’s is simply the health of your mind. Most often the term is used to describe problems or mental illness. However, I think it’s important to remember that it can cover all things. Just as our bodies have physical health levels, so do our minds and just as it’s not just those with serious illnesses that have to take care of their bodies, it’s not just those who have been diagnosed with mental illnesses who have to take care of their mental health. I would wager that not a single one of you reading this now has gone through your entire life without so much as a cold. By the same token, I’m sure not one of you have gone your entire life without a moment of poor mental health. Whether you are willing to accept it or not, it can (and will) affect all of us to varying degrees.

While there still seems to be stigma and lack of understanding towards those with mental health problems – especially in the workplace – I feel like the world is moving in the right direction. People are becoming more aware of mental health problems, and for the most part (I hope), being more compassionate. We (collectively) are more accepting of our friends who are experiencing problems. We are learning more about how our minds work and how to keep them healthy. Though things may often feel bleak, I truly believe the future is bright.

I truly believe that there is a connection between mental and physical health. I think they should be viewed equally. For example, we have days when we are just generally feeling unwell. It could just be a cold. The doctor can’t help us with that – we just need to drink more water, get some rest & help support our bodies. (Essential oils anyone?) The same way, our minds can catch a “cold”. We don’t need to go to the doctor, but we can do things that will help us out. Go for a walk, do something that you enjoy or know you are good at, speak to a supportive friend. Support your mind (and yes, there are oils for that too 😉 ). But in other cases, it may be a bit more serious and we do need to seek professional help. With our bodies, a doctor could refer us to a specialist. With mental health, therapy or counselling may be required. Just as with physical health, it may be that medication is required. Most people would want to leave that as a last resort but it may be the best solution.

What are your top tips for staying mentally happy and healthy? pic.twitter.com/s15F62Q89G

— Mind (@MindCharity) May 17, 2019

There are may different types and causes of mental health problems. This too can be compared to physical health. In both cases:

• Ill health can be a one off incident, or an ongoing /lifelong struggle
• Sometimes it’s genetic. There can be a family history of some mental and physical health problems.
• In some cases we can prevent ill health by taking care of our bodies and mind and doing things that we know can improve our “fitness” levels.
• In a lot of cases we can support our bodies and minds naturally. Again, by eating right, exercising and using essential oils, we can support our bodies and minds to get over the bumpy patches that we could not avoid.
• Other times, as mentioned, professional help is required. If this applies to you, please make sure that you are comfortable with your medical professional. Trust them that they understand what you are going through and what you need. If you find you are unable to do so, please try find someone else.

I do not have a serious mental illness. In fact, I have never been diagnosed with any mental health problems. [That either means that my mental health is in reasonable shape, or my anxiety is so great I refuse to acknowledge it.] However, that does not mean that I have not experienced less than optimal mental health in the past. Here is an example:

I don’t deal with pregnancy very well. I may have previously mentioned it but they joyous moment between peeing on a stick and feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus is tragically short. But I am able to recognise (now) that it’s not just my body that suffers. During my last pregnancy, my worst days happened to coincide with the summer holidays. I had two little sweet hearts to look after. One was about to start “big school”, and the other was going to start preschool. Oh what plans I had! Our last weeks of freedom! There would be picnics, and swimming lessons, and trips to the beach and FUN! What there actually was, was Mamma spending her life puking. There was a 4 year old getting breakfast for her & her sister because the kitchen literally made me sick. There was no leaving the house before 3pm because I just physically couldn’t manage it. There was take away or other non-nutritious food for supper because Daddy was at work all day & I wouldn’t let him cook anything that smelt (Which was everything). What has that got to do with mental health? Well, everything. The guilt was crazy. My brain was telling me what an awful mother I was. I couldn’t even look after the two I had and now to add another? I felt terrible -but how dare I be miserable when I was blessed with another baby? I had no right to feel that way when others are struggling to get pregnant. How selfish to hate the way I was feeling when there are others who would never get to experience it.

Well, September came. We took our soon to be middle child to pre-school, and there on the notice board was a display from PANDAS. I had never heard of them, they are the Pre And Post Natal Depression And Support charity. I had also never heard of Peri-natal depression. Everyone knows of post-natal depression. We know the signs to look out for. But seeing that display, with all those thought bubbles saying the EXACT SAME THINGS as the voices in my head, I could have cried. I probably did. Babies mess with your hormones. They mess with your head – but not just after they are born. I did not need anything else. Just an acknowledgement that I wasn’t crazy, (or that I was but it’s okay). Just knowing that what I was experiencing was normal and that there was a reason for it and it would pass was enough. It didn’t cure me. I still had the feelings and the thoughts but I could cope a lot better with them. I don’t know why the children’s centre chose that display for that time, but I will always be grateful for it. If you would like to find out more about perinatal depression, and how to get help go to
http://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/ or
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/postnatal-and-antenatal-depression/?o=9237#.XN83LY5KjIU

The best thing we can do – whether we feel mentally as fit as a fiddle or every moment is a struggle – is to support each other. How? Let’s start by not judging people. If someone you know has started seeing a psychiatrist, or takes antidepressants, or anti-psychotics, or find it too overwhelming just to get out of bed in the morning DON’T turn to idle gossip or criticism. If you want to check if your thoughts are fair, change it to a physical problem & see how it sounds. “Ooh, I hear Debbie has to see a specialist for her kidney disease. I don’t know why she doesn’t just get over it & drink more water.” “That John is *so* lazy. Just because he’s broken his leg again, he thinks it’s a great excuse not to come to work”. Would that be acceptable?

If being non-judgemental is too hard to start with, then try just being kind. Find something nice to say, and mean it. If that wasn’t so hard, try & maybe do something nice. Just as how it can be small things that can feel so big and overpowering in someone’s head, a small thing can also bring in some sunshine. And if failing that, just remember that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. There is way too much negativity floating around in people’s heads anyway – don’t add to it.

If you are struggling at the moment, check out the mind website: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/ If you need to talk, get in touch with the Samaritans: www.samaritans.org, call 116 123 (free) or email jo@samaritans.org

Post script. doTERRA have an emotional aromatherapy range, both as oils to diffuse or in ready to use rollers. Anyone who opens any account through me with either of these sets, I will personally donate £3 to the PANDAS charity. (£3 can provide training for their online support volunteers) Go to www.mydoterra.com/nicolastanton to order yours. I will add more information on my facebook page as soon as I can. In the mean time, please get in touch if you would like any further information.